Nyla is now doing daily temperature readings. She is employing all her power point skills to plot graphs and pie charts. Last week, after dinner, she did a 10 minute fertility presentation using her charts to project our chances of success. She told me about her “fertile window”. She told me that within the average menstrual cycle there are six days when a woman can fall pregnant. Five days before ovulation and the day of ovulation itself. She told me that by taking her basal temperature readings and regularly checking her cervical mucus she could tell when this is.
‘So,’ she concluded ‘when my mucus is creamy and slightly stretchy we have to fuck. And when it is the consistency of egg white we need to fuck like crazy.’
Egg whites made me think of meringues.
We have a definite target. And there is an action plan. Devised by Nyla, it consists of ‘lets have sex when I tell you to.’ Today is one of those meringue days.
It should be erotic but somehow it isn’t. I’m starting to feel like a performing monkey.